Pain, Rejection, and Love

I wish I could describe the pain I'm feeling right now, its something that hurts deep to the pit of your soul. Its something that doesn't come and go, it just stays and sits. A constant reminder of where a piece of your heart used to be. I don't want that empty space to be taken over by bitterness, regret, sadness, or hate. The tears haven't stopped falling since last time we spoke. How can someone feel so empty without that piece of their heart? It goes to show that the heart never stops loving and how resilient it is. I feel so betrayed, I guess I knew there was always the possibility that things would not work out but to base things off a feeling. If I based everything on a feeling and out of fear I would have never gotten to where I am today. The one consolation I have is that God has something even more spectacular planned for me, for those who follow His will. There was this glimmer of hope when you said you still have my heart but apparently that was just a foretaste of the pain to come. I can't even explain how I feel. I feel like I am going to explode from so many feelings and emotions. I hated to see you cry but even though you said it was the hardest thing you've ever had to do, the hardest thing is yet to come. You will have to realize what you lost and live without it. We had something with such great potential and that was already great. I don't know what to say to you anymore, I still love you but I can't see myself marrying you either with the way you are. Never make decisions based on fear, this was something I never expected and I never expected to meet you or to fall in love with you. I gave you everything that was mine to give, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Its not in my nature to hold back, I  have learned so much about myself and how much I can give, and giving even way beyond what I thought was possible. I loved, loved so much, only to be rejected. I know many people have felt that pain and rejection is probably the worst poverty in this world. I know that Satan sees this and will be trying to attack me with feelings of worthlessness, doubt, fear, and a multitude of other falices. Even through all of this I keep on seeing the vision of Jesus on the cross saying "I thirst" and he wants me to thirst for Him during this difficult time and to stay so close to His heart. I am hurting, God will bring me though all of this, but this suffering is for a reason, one beyond my understanding. Please pray for me, that I may still be a true servant of Christ through all of this and I may never stray from Him.

Praise be Jesus Christ, now and forever . +AMDG+