Happy to be me

I love the days when you get in a conversation with a person and you come out it feeling so blessed to have been part of that person's life or just to have shared that moment with them. And not only has it happened once but very often within the past 2 weeks. I can't talk much about my interactions with my patients but I did see a very pleasant mid aged woman that had a kidney transplant a few years ago who was now a bilateral amputee and was missing several fingers due to long standing diabetes and non healing wounds. This woman lived by herself, and did everything by herself. She cooked, cleaned, even took the bus to the grocery store by herself. She told me she was going back to school so she could get a job and better herself... and she was learning how to walk again now with special prostheses. She told me she went through a lot and yes it was hard to see others up walking around and not having to be stuck in a chair but she also told me that God had a plan for her and she trusted that. She was still alive and she was going to be as normal as possible, and that people didn't need to feel sorry for her.

In the medical world you don't always have a lot of time to spend with your patients, but I just couldn't interrupt this woman when she told me her story. I was on the verge of tears just because of her attitude towards life and her witness of her trust in God's will for her. I walked out from that room with my heart smiling. God disguises himself in the lowly, the abandoned, and the poor. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to serve others in my line of work. Some days it feels more like a burden than anything but I like to think about what G.K. Chesterton said, "To love means loving the unlovable..or it is no virtue at all." It just seems to put things into perspective, that it is easy to love those who are nice or who are most like us but those aren't the people who need our love the most.

I think we all need a reminder of why we are here, and how can we share the blessings we've been given with others. I am so grateful for the Love of Christ in my life and I hope to share it to everyone I encounter because He is my reason for living and for serving others.

+AMDG+

Why Now?

It seems that I have not been able to catch a break this past week at work and the week ended just as horribly as it has been going. I realize that I shouldn't be complaining since I have a good job, food to eat, and a roof over my head but today is one of those days where I can't seem to pull myself out of the pit. In addition to staying late at work the last few days of this week and dealing with sometimes social nightmares at work, I have been thinking of Ben. Every ounce in my brain knows that it's not good but for whatever reason my heart has healed enough from the hurt to no longer have the pains in forefront of my memories of him and now the good takes precedence.

For the first time I looked at pictures that were taken while we were together. I deleted all of the ones we had together but I kept several of places we had been and of me at those particular places just because new places are always special to me, especially with someone you care about. I miss Tahoe, I miss the cool mornings and evenings and the pleasant days. I miss Ms. Charlene the widow at St. Francis's that I was friends with; she provided me with much advice and wisdom. The sunsets and sunrises were to die for, not that Charleston hasn't had spectacular one's since I've been here but there is definitely something extraordinary about Tahoe. I miss the small town and trips "into the city." I won't forget how normal I thought it was that there was a bear in my backyard or one crossing the street. I miss the snow, and when I mean snow, I mean SNOW. The softness and peacefulness after it snowed, and believe it or not I miss shoveling it (more likely using the snow blower).

I know it probably doesn't help me at all to state all the things I miss about the place but I feel for some reason it will help me get through what I'm feeling tonight. I am not shy about who reads this because this is mainly for myself, just to get the things I want to say out so they aren't left festering inside of me. Why all of this stuff comes and goes in waves, I don't know, but I do know that for the most part I'm better. Lately, things emotionally have been a struggle. It feels like things are all unraveling at the seams in multiple aspects of life, but one thing I know is that I have some amazing friends. Although the friends I have made here don't know the specifics or much about what happened in my last relationship that ultimately led me to be here in Charleston, they know me after having gone through all of it and love me even while i'm still going through some of it.

God is truly Good. After I always get everything out of my system I am constantly reminded of what I have left after you take everything else away... Hope. Hope because of Christ. I have nothing of my own, everything I have been given comes from God. Time and time again I fall victim to these feelings of depression or rejection but when these feelings come it really comes down to how you deal with them. Jesus longs to give me healing, if I would only pour my heart out to Him when I'm hurting. We often look for self healing because we are prideful, not wanting to admit to others we are hurt and to seek healing from outside of ourselves. There are times when the only way healing can occur is to flesh everything out and to keep our hearts open so that Jesus can fully fill the void we are feeling. This reminds me of a great quote by Dr. Peter Kreeft...

"Your heart is like an infinitely large hole, and only God is big enough to fill it."

How often do we try to fill up the holes in our hearts with empty things? I feel lost at times but I have to remember that God has a purpose for where I am right now in my life, even for these periods of spiritual dryness and for the instances of weaknesses. It's a matter of how we handle them and allowing ourselves to grow from them. No more sadness tonight. God is Good, all the time. All the time, God is Good.

"Don't get upset with your imperfections. It's a great mistake because it leads nowhere - to get angry because you are angry, upset at being upset, depressed at being depressed, disappointed because you are disappointed. So don't fool yourself. Simply surrender to the Power of God's Love, which is always greater than our weakness." - St. Francis De Sales

+AMDG+

Strawberry Fields Forever

Guess I should finally get out of this posting rut but to tell ya'll the truth I've just been going a mile a minute and when I slow down, I end up crashing hard. July has been one busy month starting it off with being on call at the hospital, boating, 4th of July celebrating, Riverdog's games, the birth of a friend's baby, 4 weeks on inpatient service in the hospital ( worked ~ 200hrs this month) impromptu dance parties, visiting my family back in Augusta, old college room mate reunion here in Charleston, helping a friend plan his engagement, olympic's festivities, my birthday, and of course trying to find some time to sleep in there. I figured I'd give ya'll some photo highlights of what I've been up to recently. Can't believe we are only 1 month into summer and still have so much more to go. I am looking forward to my brother and SIL possibly coming to visit over labor day. It seems that they are the hardest to get in touch with and get together with. Busy lives for themselves in NYC.

 My friend Gary and I at the Charleston Riverdog's baseball game 

Jamiel, myself and Hannah on Caper's Island on 4th of July 

 View from Waterfront park downtown overlooking the Cooper River Bridge in Mt. Pleasant

A new life for wonderful friends Jacob and Kristen. John Michael Whelan born 7/7/2012. 

 Family time in Augusta, my niece Maris 14 months.

My old college room mates Erin on left and Lori on right @ Sullivan's Island beach. 

The roomies and I outside of Magnolias after a wonderful meal there

The wonderful newly engaged couple, Bret and Gloria.

Bret on one knee, proposing on Sullivan's Island. Ocean beyond the rocks. Of course she said "yes!"

Me and my new friend Brittany, she was here in Charleston shadowing our department for an internship form Houston. Sad to see her go this week. 

The gang, minus some in the kitchen... Wine, Cheese and Dessert Birthday party. 

Me getting sang to by friends. ghetto birthday candle provided by Jamiel, lucious red velvet cheesecake provided by Ms. Maggie Lally. 

+AMDG+

Creamy Chicken Bake

I thought since I went grocery shopping last week, it would be prudent to use up several of the perishable items before they go bad. I am really horrible about that. I have no idea what nights I'll be home and what nights I'll be out, it all depends on my mood half the time. Whether I feel like I want to go eat out with friends after work or if I'm not all that hungry after work because I had a big lunch. Anyways I decided to have a friend over for dinner and I decided to make what I consider comfort food. Some creamy, something with wine, and anything with pasta. I first made this recipe for my sister in law Madeleine a few years back when her Aunt was our dinner guest but for some reason had just been sitting in my inbox since then. I added a thing or two here and there but the recipe is very simple and turns out perfectly.

Yield: 6-8 ( if using regular sized breasts)
Main Ingredient: Chicken
Cuisine: American

Tags: Main dishes, Poultry, Cheese, Parmes, Chicken, Cream, Butter, Garlic, Parmesan, Wine, White wine, Dinner, Spring, Comforting

Ingredients:
4 whole Chicken Breasts ( i  used 4 thin sliced chicken breasts)
4 slices Swiss Cheese (I used the pre sliced kind and broke them in half)
1 10-oz can Cream of Chicken Soup
1/4 c Dry white wine
1 c Herb seasoned stuffing mix (or crumbled ritz crackers ect similar)
1/4 c Butter; melted
Garlic powder; (opt.)
2 tb Parmesan cheese; (opt.)

Instructions:

Arrange split (if using whole chicken breasts), skinned and boned chicken breasts in a lightly greased 13x9 inch baking dish. Top with cheese slices. Combine soup and wine; stir well. Spoon sauce evenly over chicken and sprinkle with crushed stuffing mix.

Drizzle butter over stuffing. If desired, sprinkle with garlic powder and Parmesan cheese. Bake at 350 for 45 to 55 minutes. I baked for 40 minutes for 4 thin sliced breasts and it turned out perfect.

I then decided to make some risotto to put the chicken over and let me tell you, risotto has a special place in my heart after traveling to Italy. Seems like anything you put over in with it, will soak up that flavor. I like how risotto isn't sticky and its not very grainy like rice. Maybe I'm just not a master at cooking rice but risotto is easy and simple and tastes good with just about everything. 

I topped off the meal with some baked asparagus, nothing special. Just salt, pepper, and a little bit of lemon juice for tenderness. Baked on 350 for ~ 15-20 min. I wasn't keeping very good track of the timer, I just put them in when the chicken was atleast halfway done. 

Sorry, no gourmet picture. I'm not good at taking pictures with my nice camera while I cook but I used my cell so pardon the poor quality. ENJOY!

+AMDG+

June Bug

I can't believe it is already June 1st! I really don't know where time has gone. My mom always told once you get a "real" job you'll know the same feeling about how quickly time goes. I guess I am finally starting to experience that, and I don't know how to stop it! I feel like I'm doing tons of stuff and my days are packed as it is, but yet you always find time to do something else. Part of the reason I haven't written really much at all lately is because this is the first weekend I have been in town since mid March. Between weddings, family events, birthday parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and more weddings I have been out of town for the past few months. I get exhausted thinking about all the traveling I have been doing but now that is all slowing down. I guess I'll just try to highlight what I have been doing in the past several weekends but I could very well write a novel.

April

Bacon, Apple, and Gouda Pizza- Sorry I'm really bad about blogging anything I make but I am usually pretty good at atleast getting a picture of the finished product.

Picture with my sweet niece Maris and Nephew Jack on Easter Sunday. Yes, even Shakespeare made and appearance in the picture. What can I say, the kids love him.

I had my lovely friends from Reno/Tahoe area come and visit me for a few days after Easter. This is at the local minor league team, the Charleston River Dog's stadium. Best part about the night... "So how do you girls know each other? ... we all dated the same guy... *people in stands suddenly turn around and give a look of utter shock* priceless. Needless to say we were not the problem in the relationship.

Me and one of my best friend's Joy Beth at her dress rehearsal for her wedding. Such a gorgeous lady!

The back of my hair for Joy's wedding, thought it was funny that my hair looks somewhat like the clock in the background of this picture. Thanks Christi at Fringe Salon in Evans, GA!

The bride and I. I was so blessed to be her Maid of Honor and watch her marry the love of her life, Max. Front view of hair style- loved my hair!

Another reason I was busy, Joy asked Me and another friend to help design her candy table for her wedding, I made the "Just Married" signs, candy bags and helped coordinate candy and such.

Ok now for my 2nd wedding of April that I was in, Dorita's wedding! I did my hair myself for this wedding and it turned out great, I had to pat myself on the back for this one.

A picture of the bridal party for the wedding. I know what you're thinking too... let's just say I'm quite diverse. =)

A little blurry but a picture of me with the new Mr. and Mrs. Lattany. I had 4 classes with Dorita my freshman year in college and atleast 1 with Melvin somewhere along the way.

 My sister and my niece came to visit me in April and we took Maris to the beach for the first time and she absolutely loved it, even the water. 

May

My Mother, my sister Monica, Maris and I at Maris's 1st Birthday Party.

Playing airplane with Maris in the play room, pay no attention to that giant vein in my forehead. Dang it made you look for it. 

My sister in law Madeleine and my niece Emma happened to be in town too! I definitely don't get to see them often at all since they life in NYC. My two sisters and my two precious nieces. 

Maris's smash cake. Her big brother, Jack, is helping her blow out her candle.

Picture of me before Lindsey and Brett's wedding in Sand Key Beach, FL. 

Picture of the happy couple, the reception site was beautiful and she did an amazing job picking out colors and decorations!

And more visitors! Kurt and Sheila came to visit me from Colorado and Miami. I had a great time hanging out with Sheila and seeing Kurt again, 5 years is too long to go without seeing a friend.

Kurt and Sheila at South End Brewery downtown Charleston. We were the 3 Muskateers for the weekend

Kurt and I planking it. lol.

At Shem Creek park near my house, I was sad to have such fun people leave.

There was too much fun to be had in the last few months but I am looking forward to some down time and having a chance to explore my new hometown. I look forward to many more visitors and seeing what  other gems are hidden in this paradise of a town.

+AMDG+

Hiatus

I've definitely been in a blogging funk since arriving to Charleston... and I think mostly its because I have been so busy since I've been here, which I'm grateful for. I had quite the opposite notion that I would be spending a lot of time in my apartment and "homemaking" but in reality I am gone 2-3 evenings out of the week doing something with "Lucis Via" the Catholic young adult group here in Charleston. I really am so blessed that I have already found a group of people that I can call friends and I can count on. I've been doing some fun activities lately with friends, I will post several pictures to document the happenings so far but I am ashamed to say I haven't been faithful with picture taking. So my few pictures will have to suffice. 

I am loving Charleston but my wallet isn't loving it quite as much, the sales tax here is a whole 1.25% higher than back at home so that is a big change for me and there are so many great places to shop here. I had my first out of town guest 2 weekends ago... my friend joy beth came to visit me in her last few weeks of singledom. She gets married April 14 and I am her maid of honor. I'm trying to enjoy the few times I get to have with my single friends since it seems that most of my friends are married or getting married. Nothing against my married friends but it is not God's timing for me right now and I am not going to try to make anything happen or seek out someone just because I'm single. I'm still healing from my previous break up and I want to be as whole as I can be for the person God has in store for me. I am really trying to focus this lent on healing and forgiving, just as Jesus forgave the people who sang his praises just a week before and then sentenced him to death. He is the only one who can put my heart at peace and who can make my spirit whole again. 

I've also been reading the Hunger Games series recently and I have to say I am hooked! I still have to read the third book "Mockingjay" but I have to admit I'm 'Team Peeta.' Something that I love about a guy that is  so constant. 

Anyways glad to be back to the blogging world. Writing things out always seems to make things feel better. Hope everyone had a great Saint Patrick's day! 

Katherine and I at the Sullivan's Island Oyster Roast

At the MUSC Wine tasting night at the Charleston Aquarium, thanks to my friend Justin

My friend Justin and I at the Charleston Stingray's Hockey Game

My niece Maris and my nephew Jack on my Dad's Birthday

My friend Joy and I at her bridal shower

Saint Patty's Day/Maggie's Birthday Party with Katherine

+AMDG+

Trendy Me

Well I think I want to start doing a "Trendy Me" blog every week just to highlight a few trends that I am really enjoying. They aren't always fashion because I love decorating as well. So these are my favorite trends of the week!

Trend #1: Grays/Silver

Silvery Grays, and these patterns via Pinterest

Silver chairs via Pinterest

Gorgeous gown I found via Pinterest

Cute outfit for work or going out, lots of different shades of gray via Pinterest

Trend #2: Color block

Color Block Platform heels via Pinterest

Colorblock Mini messenger bag by Marais via Nordstrom

Orange and Green Colorblock outfit, would never have put these two colors together myself via Pinterest

Color block with colorful bangles via Pinterest

Coral Colorblock platform chunky heel via Google

Colorblock pants/shoes by Zara via Google

Trend #3: Trefoil pattern

DIY Trefoil wall <3 via Pinterest

Trefoil Headboard via Pinterest

Trefoil patterned rug from Ikea via Pudel-design

Hope ya'll are having a fantastic week, I'm about to pull my hair out with working and having no time to be able to prep for moving. Thankfully I did a good bit last week when I was off but still plenty to do! Hopefully Ill have pictures of my new place up soon!

+AMDG+